Courtesy of Amsterdam Shallow Man (www.amsterdamshallowman).

As the Dutch local elections approach, this light hearted guide may help you decide…

D66 – The yuppie/hipster party

Partei vd Dieren – Four legs good two legs bad

PVV – “Ik ben geen racist maarrrrrrrrr……..

FVD – Say it loud, we’re racist and proud!

VVD – When big business says bend over, we reach for the lube. We’re big, racist, and very polite.

PvdA – Party of mainly white social housing dwellers. For ditto non-whites see DENK.

DENK – We’re not racist, but if you’re not Turkish, Moroccan or black…

SGP – A woman’s place is at home defrosting the pizza.

CU – Shops must close on Sunday; you’ll be at home praying for them to open.

SP – Kut expats! Driving up prices in Amsterdam, we need rules to protect Amsterdammers from overpaid expats!

Groenlinks – Lentil soup anyone? Oh, I’m out of lentils, l’ll hop into my Tesla and drive to the Markt.