SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

BUREAUCRACY
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away.

CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

INVESTMENT BANKING
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an  associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You award one cow to your CEO as a bonus, leaving you with nine cows.
The public then buys your bull via a public share offering.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AMERICAN CORPORATISM
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

GREEK CORPORATISM
You have two cows.
You borrow lots of euros to build barns, milking sheds, hay stores, feed sheds, dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese unit and packing sheds. You still only have two cows.

FRENCH CORPORATISM
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

JAPANESE CORPORATISM
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and market it worldwide.

ITALIAN CORPORATISM
You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

SWISS CORPORATISM
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

CHINESE CORPORATISM
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them. You claim you have full employment and high bovine productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported the situation.

INDIAN CORPORATISM
You have two cows.
You worship them.

BRITISH CORPORATISM
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

IRAQI CORPORATISM
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you, they bomb the ** out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but you are now a Democracy.

AUSTRALIAN CORPORATISM
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers.

WELSH CORPORATISM
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive…